Transforming Disappointment into Purpose: My Journey Beyond the Crown

Have you ever experienced a crushing disappointment after relentlessly pursuing a goal? I certainly have, and it happened to be in the realm of pageantry. Now, before you dismiss me as just another “pageant girl”, let me share with you how this unexpected journey has shaped my life, both personally and professionally, over the past two decades. This article is a glimpse into my fear of failure, the pressure to win, and the transformative power of shifting perspectives.

A few weeks ago, I found myself surrounded by friends at a lunch gathering. As we sat there catching up, I couldn’t help but pour my heart out about my recent setback – failing to secure the coveted title of Mrs. Colorado.

You see, for the past five years, I have dedicated every ounce of my being to achieving this dream. Some might argue that pageantry is nothing more than a superficial spectacle, but my journey has proven otherwise. I have encountered overwhelming support and encouragement. My incredible husband, Matt, has stood by my side, unwavering in his belief in my ambitions. And I’ve been blessed with a circle of friends who have embraced my love for this sport.

As we sat there in conversation, a question emerged. Would I choose to compete again despite the years of disappointment that have marked my path?

Let’s be honest, the thought of stepping back into the competitive arena is undeniably daunting. The fear of failure looms, accompanied by the perpetual worry of what others might think. And then there’s the fear of making a fool of oneself. The years of relentless dedication and unwavering passion had left a lasting mark on my character. The answer is far from simple. The countless setbacks have only fueled my fire, propelling me forward with renewed vigor. It was time to shift my perspective. Instead of the ultimate goal revolving solely around the crown; I needed to explore how I could make a positive impact on others throughout the process.

For years, my driving force stemmed from the desire for titles, promotions, awards, and recognition. These achievements propelled me forward, inspiring me to continuously strive for greatness. Surrounded by influential people in the business world, church, and community, I witnessed their dedication to excellence. But here’s the pivotal question: Is winning enough? What happens when we reach our perceived pinnacle? Are we truly satisfied or already searching for the next big thing? Personally, I discovered that without a sense of purpose, these accomplishments left me yearning for more.

It took a devasting loss to shatter my preconceived notions and ignite a profound realization within me. I recognized if my sole focus remained on victory, disappointment would inevitably continue to plague my path. I had to choose to redirect my energy towards what I could offer others, rather than what I could gain for myself.

In the end, my journey extends far beyond the confines of a pageant stage. It encompasses the triumphs and tribulations of a woman seeking purpose and fulfillment. Through years of perseverance and self-discovery, I learned that disappointment need not define us; it can be a catalyst for transformation. So, as I contemplate the possibility of competing once more, I do so with a newfound perspective – grounded in the desire to empower others, to foster purpose and impact, and to leave a lasting legacy beyond the crown.

In a world where achievements and accolades often define our worth, my story serves as a gentle reminder that true fulfillment lies in making a difference in the lives of others. So, dare to shift your perspective, embrace purpose, and together, let us create a world where dreams are not merely about personal gain, but about uplifting and inspiring those around us.